The UK 2009 Rap Up by Mystro (with lyrics)

mystro spying
London-based rapper Mystro puts a UK twist on Skillz‘ “2009 Rap Up”, completely revamping the track to cover highlights of the UK scene with the mighty Black Einstein on production. Check it…


First off I need to holler at you, Skillz
And ask you to lemme do the honours if you will
See I’m not tryna copy you, just borrow from you still
Plus I’m a fan, so it’s a way to pay homage to your skill
‘Cause ’round here, some are making the moves they’e been wishing
Some others didn’t – blame all the school they’ve been skipping
If you want a brief run down then do take a listen
To this ’09 wrap up – but UK edition now…

Who remembers when Dizzee took his drop?
That didn’t change a thing; he still took it to the top
From the start he left the pop charts conquered,
Had people going crazy, ‘specially when he told ’em he was “Bonkers”.
While Dappy and his crew N-Dubz have become hot
Everybody’s rooting for ’em both, never mind the buzzcocks
What about Tinch‘s beef with that dude?
I’ve forgot his name. Something like La What? Or La Who?
What he said sounded spiteful, shout out to the Stryder Man
Big up for not giving a George Michael
X-Factor brought us way into its Matrix
Thuggish dudes talking bout ‘Baby did you tape it?’
England qualified for world cup
But thanks to the handy man Henri the Irish think this world sucks
A blatant hand-ball don’t need no photo
They must’ve felt robbed like Tinch did – no MOBO
Sabrina achieved the unachievable
Keeping her hair neat for so long in the jungle was un-beweavable!
Peter and Jordan have split up
A proper odd couple.. So of course they would split up.

While RWD mag are looking bigger
We left MySpace for Facebook – then put that book down for Twitter
Where some ain’t as healthy as they seemed, advice for Chipmunk
“Don’t kill yourself to live the dream”
But you can tell he’s gonna feast,
All that hard work at that age he’s proving already he’s a “Beast”
The government gave hand outs to banks
While the UK Funky scene blew up then ran out of skanks
Don’t believe me bro? Go ask them kids,
Embarrassed watching their parents do the head, shoulders, knees and toes
The most over-used word by far?
….Everybody say it with me now: “PAR”.
If you need a definition then check out what Jamelia did to Maxwell D on television
Wanted to drop some raps on the Sugababes
But on the real: that’s not the Sugababes
Speech Debelle won herself a Mercury
Got boo’d by Take That fans and had to run herself to Mercury
But after sacking her label, maybe I’m wrong
Could be the same planet Jedward made it here from

Kids ran around screaming, ‘Are you gonna bang doe?’
But Boy Better Know said there was too many man though
Bashy made sure we didn’t forget his face
And Reggie Yates put himself up there with the heavy weights.
While Wretch, Tinie Tempah and Giggs got attention
Others physically lost their Hip Hop Connection
Pro Green got his neck a slashing
But came back and toured with Lily Allen like it never happened
Screenplay writer, director and actor Noel Clarke won himself a well deserved BAFTA
The first black Miss England was dipped in glory
Til she lost her damn title with them fists of fury
I wonder how she’d deal with Taio Cruz
Ain’t nothing wrong with white chicks bro, but what a way to make the news
Before Taio Jacki Chan’s me
Shouts to Estelle for becoming one of the Grammy family
Remember Mutya appeared on Big Brother?
Bored us all and then disappeared like Big Brovaz!
Now what else lemme see… Hold up, stop the beat:
RIP Derek B.

DJs working all day were Mista Jam, Semtex, Shortee Blitz and Manny Norte
Oh yeah, I can’t forget Mastersteps
And Sarah Love – she’s still playing her cards right with half a deck
David Haye made the haters keep it quiet, he relived the story of David and Goliath
He dealt with it like he was supposed to do it
I just wish he’d help us out and train up Leona Lewis
So she wouldn’t have to fear harm
Best comeback of the year’s gotta go to Amir Khan
And another guy who can’t be stopped ‘though they used to palm him off
Now ’round the world they’re all tryna be Charle Sloth
Our internet game’s kinda crazy with SB.TV, DJ Gone, RAGGGS and GrimeDaily
Helping artists to make moves,
Diversity and Flawless showing dancers the way too.
While Mr Hudson‘s in the States making waves,
Dynamo‘s proving why David Blaine ain’t the same
Remember M.I.A. at the Grammys? I swear..
I thought she was gonna have the yout on stage right there!
Amy thought her long arse vacation was great,
While St Lucians were like “Look, you’re taking the cake!”
Eddie Kadi‘s a funny man that’s hard at work,
While all the “Bad Boys” had caught the eye of Alexandra Burke

And the award for taking on the States by storm…
Yeah that’s gotta go to that boy Jay Sean
Award for best industry shake-up..
Many won’t agree but that’s gotta go to Industry Hater
Proved you ain’t got a sense of humour if you hardly laughed.
Donaeo still got us all tryna party hard
And all that snow at the top of ’09?
Was so thick it brought London to a slow grind
They said each day it cost the city 50 mill!
For real? I wonder who had to foot the bill…
While JLS made everybody stand up with hands up,
Poor Craig David must’ve messed his damn plans up!
If poor tactics got you stressed
Be like little man from JLS – do some back-flips on request
Sway nearly quit,
Chase and Status felt that Westwood was taking the mick!
Slim the Comedian‘s someone I must shout,
As well as Kojo too, for his Comedy Fun House.

Before I think to stop, though he wasn’t from the UK
I’ve gotta send respects to the King of Pop
He did a lot, we wonder why it happened,
A bit rest in peace shout to Michael Jackson!
For all our loved ones we had to lose through the soil,
Let’s promise to use the talent like Susan Boyle.
To see me again all my natural born Twittaz
Follow M.Y.S.T.R.O.G.E.N.
For now it’s the end…
One love from Mighty Mystro
Welcome to 2010.

Photo by Suze Carey.

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